The Bowels: Or sometimes the bellows

 

This is what I look like when I’m hungry and about to eat. I do not always look like this, nor am I always hungry. Just earlier that day I was not feeling so well. The night before it had started with a lump in the stomach that really dampened my appetite. That morning it had manifest itself as a total lack of appetite followed by a curious bloated feeling. All morning I was tied up in meetings and then lunch came with the boss and there are no public bathrooms at restaurants here. Back at the office I was alarmed when my after lunch meeting partner found me right as I came through the door. After that meeting the main conference room that my room, the resource room, is abutted to, had a meeting in full swing so my meeting compadre called and had the office assistant come and let me out the side door. I was feeling very much like a puffer fish by then, so I sought out the office baño, only to discover it was out of order, at least I took whatever the writing was on the sign to mean just about that much. Not knowing what else to do I started walking home. I’m not sure if you know what its like to walk 4 blocks not knowing at any step whether your labor contractions will overcome your glute strength but let me tell you, it does require a whole lot of controlled breathing. After making it home I had to negotiate the stairs to the second floor and then strip before exploding. The good part about an entire room of tile is that it is quite easy to clean! Bon Appetit.